I’m here, Lord.
My body ached getting out of bed this morning, but I’m here.
Did You ever have body aches? Are they redemptive?
Oh my!
I’m tired, my King. Tired… and old.
So, here we are again.
I ache; but, my deepest ache is for You.
Your silence puzzles me. It always has.
When I say that I ache for you, I speak the truth… and I wait.
Beheadings, war, disease, corruption, politics, countless people living in misery…
I’m tired.
Does prayer help somehow?
And have You noticed the state of Your Church? The divisions?
It feels sometimes like I have no home… unless I take sides.
But, I can’t.
What I long for is Your voice. To walk with You. To rest in Your embrace. To finally understand.
Mother Mary, help me!
I’m tired.
And… I love You, my King.
I always have.
Musings Amid the Thorns 
Thank you, Steve, for sharing this heart-felt lamentation. I, too, long to see His face, and long for the Kingdom of unity and peace, of love and perfect recognition of the beauty of every single person as beloved of God.
Kevin, these themes are a constant in my life. It is my hunger for God and for God’s kingdom that greets me every morning. I know you understand, my friend.
Dear Steve, Thank you for this prayer of/from the heart. You speak (and pray) for more than yourself, and certainly for me,
Lucretia
Lucretia, it is so good to hear from you! I hope that you are well, my friend, and that you are thoroughly enjoying your semi-retirement. I miss working with you at STM/TML. Thank you for being a kindred spirit in prayer and in hope. And, thank you for taking the time to comment and encourage.
Steve,
I am clueless as to how to do BC email anymore, although I tried to do what was asked by Google. (I haven’t accessed it for months, alas). In any case, I am happy to write you through this venue. I am finishing the second edition of my book as I write, and it has been a good but demanding process. EDS has had issues of its own, but I am still there. Let’s get together after I finish this book revision, which will be finished by the end of October, God willing and this writer consenting.
I miss you too,
Lucretia
That would be delightful, Lucretia. Let’s try to have lunch some day in early November. My teaching schedule lightens up a bit by then. In the meantime, I wish you remarkable productivity (re: your book) and a healthy dose of God’s own joy and peace (re: your life).
Blessings always,
Steve
I really like your latest Musing Amid the Thorns- Any Day ! I feel that our generation has seen the best of this world, and I fear for our grandchildren. I truly believe that God has a plan. I also believe that He is in control, even when evil things happen. According to the prophecies in the Bible, Christians will be persecuted and killed, there will be wars, famine, earthquakes, false prophets, etc. All the terrible things that are happening, in my opinion, are ushering in the “the end of time”. I pray daily, continue to follow my Faith and believe that Jesus loves me and I love Him !
Ruthie:
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I’m with you in the belief that, in the final analysis, all we really have is our faith. I don’t know where it’s all heading, but I do know to Whom. And I trust in God’s ultimate goodness.
Blessings, my friend!
Steve
Steve, good morning. Some days it is hard to focus on all the blessings when such horrific injustices are all around us. It doesn’t seem fair that we live in some what of a cocoon here in the USA. I am grateful, however, because I don’t know how I could stand to see such violence right in my face. Working with the public and the youth, I see such an oblivion to God, holiness, and the core Judeo-Christian values. I’m encouraged anytime I hear people having faith and I realize I must be more vocal about mine so that maybe they could see the light of Christ. It is hard to speak without alienating some or seeming like you are superior. It is a delicate path. I know that the enemy would love to use my mistakes and hardships to disprove God, and to weaken my faith. It is when I share with my brothers and sisters in the faith that I am renewed. My struggles don’t seem as difficult and my chaos starts to unwind and fall into place. Thank you for your blogs. They are a source of comfort, a catalyst to prayer and a must on my tired dry heart. Yes we all get tired…Thank you for the shot of “Life” in the arm.
Your friend,
Joanne Hastings
Joanne, your comments are always so rich and thoughtful. Thank you, my friend! Your encouragement and prayers mean a great deal to me. Blessings always, Steve